After spending a few days in the mountains of North Carolina attending my oldest daughter’s wedding I have to admit getting back in the working groove has been really tough.
I truly enjoyed my little get away even if I had to occasionally discuss politics with my brother-in-law who works as a college professor in Chicago. Needless to say, working where he does, he rarely encounters Libertarians and takes great delight in my ability to at least make him think on occasion. My political agenda is freedom, I am a greedy capitalist, and I would love to be left alone.
Never in my life did I think I would ever see the day in America where a political candidate would be shamed or targeted negatively for being a capitalist, but my favorite Communist, Uncle Bernie Sanders, recently broke the mold by accusing his fellow senator and presidential hopeful, Elizabeth Warren, of being a greedy capitalist.
Yes, it’s true folks, a millionaire socialist with three houses just accused another millionaire socialist with multiple houses of being a greedy capitalist and people wonder why I dream of escaping to Iceland.
Bernie, my friend, just for the record, when it comes to Elizabeth Warren’s personal wealth, she is as capitalist as they come, just like you are.
You see, Bernie, when it comes to personal wealth and prosperity, we are all capitalists, even our politicians. It’s only with the money of the American taxpayer do people like you and Sen. Warren dream of the socialist utopia.
You may be the original socialist in the race, Bernie, but the political idea of cradle to grave government dependency is hardly a new and novel concept.
Bernie, if you want to attack Sen. Warren for being a complete political fraud, willing to say or do anything for political gain, then you have my blessings, but capitalism has been very good to you Bernie. Are we supposed to believe you became wealthy by investing in North Korea?
Your criticism of Sen. Warren for being a capitalist seems a bit hypocritical to me, Bernie, but rest assured, if Sen. Warren ever becomes president, the train to cradle to grave government dependency will be chugging full steam ahead. I know it seems as though Sen. Warren is stealing your socialist thunder Uncle Bernie, but I promise you, she is a chip off the ole block with other people’s money, just not her own.
At the end of the day, Uncle Bernie, you are still my favorite communist uncle if that makes you feel any better. At least you have the conviction to tell me face to face that you want to destroy the nation I love by taxing and spending us out of existence.
I know you can’t admit it, Uncle Bernie, but successful people are addicted to capitalism, love the taste of freedom, and simply desire to be left alone.
Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.