I understand that many of you are tired of hearing about the presidential impeachment. Like most of you, I lost interest in this very early on, trying to figure out how people like Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler had the moral authority to accuse any American of high crimes and misdemeanors after helping to saddle the American taxpayer with a massive federal debt.
Well, as it turns out, thanks to Congressman Jerry Nadler, I now know the real truth about impeachment, and why it’s important for us to take immediate action.
That’s right folks, according to Congressman Nadler this impeachment is necessary because the integrity of our national elections are at stake.
For those of you confused by this comment, let me translate for you. The quote is Nadler code for if this president is re-elected in November it will be because he cheated, just like he did four years ago when the Russians sabotaged our elections to put the president over the top in the electoral college.
I agree with you, Jerry, we cannot take the chance of some Russian or Ukrainian peasant farmer hacking into our election database and disrupting the will of the American people.
Jerry, I would like to ask you a serious question. When have we ever had a fair and honest election in this country? Jerry, we, the American voter, have little to no influence over the American electoral process.
We go to the polls on Election Day, put our ballot into a large machine, and hope that our ballot doesn’t get rejected for casting a vote for Elmer Fudd. We have no idea if our vote gets counted or if a deceased person has already voted multiple times in our place.
We have come to expect a certain amount of voter fraud in every American election, because that’s just who you people are, Jerry.
We know ballot boxes will get stuffed. We know dead people will rise from the grave and vote on Election Day. We know some people will vote multiple times. We know non-U.S. citizens will cast ballots, and we know charges of voter intimidation will be used by the losing candidates throughout the country.
I agree with you, Jerry, with all the internal domestic voter fraud we deal with in this country we certainly should not stand for any foreign intervention in our elections.
Now that the truth has finally come out, we should all take a minute and give thanks for people like Jerry Nadler. A man committed to protecting us from ourselves and the integrity of the American election.
Without you successfully impeaching this president those pesky Ukrainian and Russian peasant farmers may re-elect this president to another term.
Jerry, you may not believe this, but I have actually met some people who actually walked into a voting booth and voted for this president and plan to do so again.
We need you, Jerry. May the force be with you.
Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at email@example.com.