The Avengers of Erwin


It all started last Tuesday morning. A rare day through the week when my wife and youngest daughter both had a day off from work.

I wasn’t sure if I was to have breakfast with my friend, Jerry, like I do every morning or offer to have breakfast with the family. I knew as soon as I got the breakfast text from Jerry, I had a decision to make, but luckily for me my wife made the call for me and gave me the encouragement I needed to tackle the world’s problems at least for one more day.

“Go have breakfast with Jerry,” she said. “You guys are like the Avengers of Erwin and the world’s problems are not going to solve themselves.”

As luck would have it, we encountered a problem right off the bat when someone put cheese on Jerry’s biscuit. Like a true Erwin Avenger, Jerry solved the problem with one quick counter trip and we were ready to tackle the world.

Before we could finish our biscuits, we encountered another problem when my mother called and told me she was out of dish detergent and the trash can needed to be pushed to the road.

While it may seem easy to be an Erwin Avenger, I assure you, it’s not. In all seriousness, old Avengers like Jerry and I can read the writing on the wall with each passing day.

The nation we know and love is changing, and not entirely for the good. A prime example of what I am talking about can be highlighted by a recent conversation I had with a young millennial I will call Jane.

Jane is a recent college graduate with worlds of potential. Jane is intelligent, full of passion, and unfortunately paralyzed by the fear of climate change.

Jane has been brainwashed to believe her planet is doomed, but Jane was totally oblivious to the real-world fact that our communist enemies around the world have approximately 10 thousand nuclear warheads aimed at this country 24 hours a day, seven days per week, including Christmas.

How’s that for shock value, Jane? One more thing for you to worry about.

Jane, all I can tell you is the American politician thrives off your fear of things that are beyond your control. I understand the fear in your young heart. When Jerry and I were kids we had nuclear drills in school where we would hide under the writing part of our desk as if that desk would protect us from nuclear attack. We were also warned of the new global ice age which would soon make the planet uninhabitable.

Just like you, Jane, we were brainwashed at an early age by politicians who have stolen trillions of our taxpayer dollars by offering us eternal salvation through the virtue of government dependency.

Jane, the real enemy is not your fear of the unknown, or two old Avengers, but the politician who stokes your fears of the unknown.

Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at


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