As some of you know, my friend Jerry and I meet most every morning to solve the world’s problems over breakfast at our local McDonald’s. Nicknamed the Erwin Avengers by our wives we take great pride in solving the world’s problems and grew quite confident in our abilities when we successfully steered hurricane Dorian away from a direct impact on the coast of North Carolina. While we may have mastered the art of solving the world’s problems, when it comes to our hobby of metal detecting, we have found the struggle to be very real. Don’t get me wrong we have found our share of foreign space junk, aluminum cans, and Match Box Cars. Mostly Pontiac Firebirds, but we have yet to uncover that one item that makes the hobby worth our sizable investment. Now we understand metal detecting is much like fishing, it requires patience which is something we both lack. We understand summers in North Carolina are hot and humid which contributes to our lack of patience, but surely somewhere in this world we should be able to locate a Metal Detecting Safe Space where even old guys like us can locate some treasure.
I mean really, if college kids can have Safe Spaces on campus to escape the evils of Capitalism and greed, then surely someone out there can create a Safe Space of treasures for a couple of old Avengers like us. We have the equipment, and look like we know what we are doing, especially when we strap the headphones on our heads. If only someone would fill their yard with treasure and invite us over for a dig it would be a huge boost to our confidence, and maybe even keep our wives from selling our metal detectors.
Life in the world of metal detecting reached a low point a few weeks back when we scheduled a day trip to a locale beach to search the beach after the Labor Day holiday. At worst we knew the beach would be full of loose change dropped by beachgoers and we where prepared to cash in. Again, we looked like we knew what we were doing, drawing the attention of several curious onlookers who asked us what we were finding. As I told one gentleman, we were leaving the beach with our newly discovered 26 cents. We specialize in Match Box Cars without the wheels, mostly Pontiac Firebirds.
We don’t mean to sound like a couple of precious snowflakes, but we simply cannot continue to dig Match Box Firebirds without the tires and justify this hobby. If only we could secure a Metal Detecting Safe Space, I know we could turn this thing around. In the meantime if you have ever lost a Match Box Pontiac Firebird and want it retrieved we are available for hire, and eager to be of service.
Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at email@example.com.