Every Mother’s Day I get my wife a Mother’s Day card. While I realize she is not my mother she is the mother of my two children and deserves to be recognized for helping me raise two children and being the glue that holds the family together.
I would be absolutely lost without her, I admit that, but when it comes to buying her cards, despite my best efforts, I am just not getting the job done. In the spirit of modern-day America, I choose to blame someone else for my shortcomings.
Apparently, according to my wife, the card I gave her this year is the exact card I have given her for the last two years. How in the world does that happen? How can someone like me pick up the exact same card year after year?
Apparently, the card is a great card and expresses the feelings I am trying to express, but why does Hallmark not pull this card from circulation? How long is the card going to be floating around? I can’t have this happen again next year Hallmark, so, please, get your act together.
While I really enjoyed bashing Hallmark for my failures in the card department, I got to thinking, despite my shortcoming in the card department, things could be worse. I could be the president and have the entire Democratic Party screaming for the release of my tax returns.
As we all know, the release of the Mueller report was not exactly the smoking gun the Democrats were hoping for, so now in the spirit of useless partisan politics, we must shift our focus to the president’s tax returns and prove to America that we either have a greedy capitalist as a president or a failed entrepreneur unfit to lead an economy with a massive federal debt.
Now, despite the fact that the president’s tax returns have absolutely no impact on the lives of any American citizen, for the next two years this issue will be repeatedly shoved down your throats much like the Russian collusion story.
If the president were to release his tax returns showing he actually made a profit in the private sector, he will be labeled as a greedy capitalist living off the backs of middle-class America. If the president were to release tax returns showing a loss, he would be labeled a failure as a business entrepreneur.
Either way, in the world of useless partisan politics, it’s a no-win situation for the president and a no-win situation for the American people who could care less about useless partisan politics.
For most Americans, we have better things to worry about that than whether our president is a greedy capitalist or a failed entrepreneur.
We may struggle to buy the perfect Mother’s Day card but at least we don’t have to feed red meat to a rabid political bass determined to destroy a man they fear at the ballot box.
Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at email@example.com.