Well, my friends, it’s finally over, it is now safe to turn on your television sets and tune in your radio without the fear of hearing another political campaign ad.
By now I am sure you are all aware that all the elected officials you elected on Tuesday will fight for more money for education and pay raises for all educators. I’m sure by now you are all aware that health insurance providers are evil because despite providing a valuable service to clients they dare to make a profit in the name of capitalism.
While we learned a great deal from this election, maybe the most disturbing thing I learned this election season is how our voting habits are affecting the lives of some of America’s greatest Hollywood celebrities. Just last week I saw where Barbra Streisand claimed she may head north to Canada if Republicans hold their grip on the House of Representatives.
Now, have any of you ever imagined how losing the great Barbra Streisand to Canada would affect your daily lives? I’m not sure I could even make it to work tomorrow knowing we could lose Barbra to Canada.
As it is now our voting habits in 2016 nearly cost us the great Rosie O’Donnell and several other noted celebrities. Just last week Hanoi Jane Fonda claimed the Trump-Era has parallels to Hitler and the Third Reich. Now really people, who could blame Barbra for wanting to leave all this.
You see my friends, it’s really simple if we don’t start voting for the Democrats, we run the risk of losing all our notable celebrities and really is that a risk you are willing to take? In all seriousness, despite the threats from these Hollywood elites to leave America for Canada they never actually seem to leave, and I think I know the reason why. Barbra, while I personally want you to stay and enjoy the misery of being an American in your gated Hollywood mansion, in reality, no one in America cares where you live. That’s right, Babs, we could absolutely care less where you reside.
Even the hundreds of your adoring fans simply do not care if you remain in Hollywood or move to Canada. Like it or not, Babs, we can still listen to your music and watch your movies even if you become the newest resident of Canada.
You see, Babs, despite your self-absorbed ego, the lives of the average American citizen are not affected by Hollywood and Hollywood elitism and for that very reason there will be no shortage of volunteers willing to help you pack your bags.
America is not for everybody, Babs, and maybe it’s time for you, Rosie, and Hanoi Jane to hit the bricks. I’m going to miss you, Barbra, but I’m no longer going to beg you to stay.
Mr. Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.