Buried treasure

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By all accounts, everyone I have talked to had an amazing Christmas holiday season. Like they always have, my family made sure I had a wonderful Christmas by showering me with endless gifts.

Like always, I received several pairs of socks and some new work clothes, but like every year since I was a small child, I wanted toys and my wife and children came through in a big way. For starters, my wife and youngest daughter did an awesome job of buying me a hoard of new widgets, and my oldest daughter scored big with her purchase of my metal detector.

Now, I wasn’t the only one to score a metal detector this year, my friend, Jerry, also got a metal detector for Christmas and the hunt for buried treasure has consumed the bulk of our free time since Christmas morning with very mixed results.

In the spirit of the true Alpha male, Jerry and I decided to skip the reading of the instruction manuals provided in the box with our metal detectors opting instead to just listen for the beep and dig some holes. Don’t get me wrong, much like the blind squirrels, we do occasionally stumble on a coin spill or a huge chunk of metal we believe to be extraterrestrial, but for the most part we have struck out.

After spending nearly one week digging beer tabs and Martian space junk, we have concluded, at some point in time, we are going to have to break with strict male tradition and actually read the instruction manual. Some of our metal detecting friends have suggested we watch videos on YouTube which does sound more appealing than actually reading a 40-page book with no pictures or asking someone to actually help us. Like all males, we hate to ask for directions, but that instruction manual is not going to read itself, and our wives have no desire to see anymore space junk in the kitchen sink.

While my wife has been very patient so far with my new hobby, with the holiday season winding down, I know I had better find that buried treasure soon or it’s back to work for me. As a matter of fact, I believe I have one more day, tops, to spend the majority of my day metal detecting before I will be wearing the new shirt and socks, sitting behind a desk dreaming of all the buried treasure I will not be getting today.

In all seriousness, while we may be blind squirrels with metal detectors, we have enjoyed this holiday season and all the thrills of the hunt for buried treasure. Who knows if we will ever manage to read that instruction manual, but either way, we have found a new hobby to occupy our time during a new year filled with new widgets, alien space debris and buried treasure.

If you see us on the side of the road, give us a honk and a wave!

Jimmy Parker lives in Erwin. Contact him at jimmyprmg@gmail.com.

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